Slow Down, Listen And Learn

I am sure we have all been there before. In a conversation with someone whom is just waiting for you to quit talking so they can speak. It can be very disheartening. I have found myself doing the same thing from time to time as well. I think occasionally we all do it. Many of us don't take the time to slow down and listen. After all our point/opinion is the one that counts...Right?

I have always had this knack to make an impression on people. Since becoming an amputee my presence seems even more pervasive when I enter a room. Rightly so, because in most instances it is something you just don't see every day. What has been hard for me to learn is that just because sometimes I am the focus point doesn't mean I have to do all the talking.

In all honesty I like attention. I used to play in a band, I was a jock in high school and well, I guess have always liked being noticed. Even in my younger years I am certain my 'acting up' in school was a craving for attention.

What I have learned (sometimes the hard way) is that attention comes with responsibility. Everything you do good or bad becomes amplified. In many instances notoriety is a good thing. You have a moment in which you can convey an ideal, point something out or touch a life with a positive message. On the other hand, a tacky remark, a demo that goes wrong or ignoring someone can make you look like a jerk.

When the spotlight is on you many things are possible. Someone may be drawn closer to you. Another person may shy away. Yet another individual may actually become combative because you just stole their thunder.

In a field like prosthetics you have to walk a fine line and sometimes humble yourself. You need to slow down and listen. As a counselor and advocate I do a lot of talking, but by no means am I an expert on everything, even in prosthetics. We all have opinions and well you know what they say about those?

There are a lot of egos present in any field and the medical field is definitely no exception. I have made sales reps from other companies totally irate before. I have upset prosthetist or therapist that thought I was trying to undermine them. Sometimes these things were my fault other times the other individual was out of line. Unfortunately, it can be something as simple as jealousy/ego that can cause a bad situation. Throw the competitiveness of sales in the mix and things can really get complex.

While these instances are rare, they can do a real disservice to someone you are trying to help. The last thing a patient needs is to be in the middle of a tug-of-war while trying to deal with limb loss.

So even though I like attention and I feel my opinion is important. I have to step back from time to time and look at the big picture. I have found that keeping communication channels open can help stop 'misunderstandings'. I have also discovered that doing more listening and less talking can be very beneficial as well.

All relationships deserve respect. There are lines we need to keep with our professional relationships. When you are a person that lives your profession 24/7, the lines can begin to blur. I am and always will be an amputee for the rest of my life. Being an advocate, counselor, mentor and sales representative is not something that can be turned off by flipping a switch for me. What I have found is that there is always a chance to learn something.


We all want to be heard. We all want to count. In the hustle bustle it can sometimes be hard. I know we all feel the pressure to meet deadlines, get to point A from B and so fourth. If you go about the day only spouting your opinions to others what are you really accomplishing? Your opinion may very well be valid and helpful. If you don't listen properly you may not be giving the right advice.

One reason I love support groups is just about every time I go I learn something. I have learned things about phantom pain, amputee sports tips, tax breaks I am eligible for, liner/prosthetic care and much, much more.

My personal goal has been to try and listen more. One thing I know for sure is that we all communicate at a different rate and in a different way. We are all special individuals. We are all passionate (an expert) about something.

The next time you catch yourself blowing off what someone tells you, especially someone you care about or respect...Please take the time...and listen.

Included is a link from the ACA Comminicator about improving your listening skills:
http://www.amputee-coalition.org/communicator/vol1no6pg4.html

Until Next Post
Ty